Yeah, I could come up with some witty intro here, but let's get to the skinny. There are way too many takes on the Three-Eyed Turtle out there, all apparently regional differences (as per Kelly, who would know -- cuz she's *done it*) and we loyal KISS-FM listeners deserve to know which is the correct North Texas varietal of this disputed position -- from expert opinion, of course.
So here is a list of links to Web sites with different takes on the Three-Eyed Turtle, conveniently numbered so that Kelly can avoid being smacked down by the FCC, yet still convey to us the correct version.
